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It was a rugged year for facts…she said, he said, she played, he worked, well he sorta worked…so you see what we mean…
First let’s tackle some of the seemingly egregious statements made by her majesty:
“I’m a Grandmother” In a matter of speaking there is a shred of truth here…The child is not named Debra or Bray or Mitchell but Mekades, one of the children we sponsored in the Ethiopian Selamta Family Project, did give birth to a little boy this past year.
“All my kids have advanced degrees” (as opposed to “Are smarter than me”)…There she goes using that DVR remote to fast forward through the commercials again… While true for James who got his MBA in 2015 and John who has had his MS in Education since 2012, Eli/Elizabeth/Betsy is just two (successful) terms into her MBA at Columbia/London Business Schools. She has connected with D friend Al Sinsheimer in London and we got to go to theatre with her in September before classes in NYC.
“We visited a dozen countries in the past year” Well, you could fit all the names in an egg carton, let’s see…We did visit Ethiopia with the Waszoos less than 365 days ago, and had a great weekend in Canada with all the Eldreds, Goose Gleason and Ann Sargent. Betsy did some yeomans work here with a side trip to Iceland on the way to class one month and a very secret excursion to Beirut another month, Denmark last week…throw in re-fueling stops in Turkey and Germany, hmmm…James and John certainly travelled coast to coast as we shall discuss below but countries? Geoffrey Greene took a break from his cheffin’ in Boston to visit Belize with his girlfriend…we thought about going to Cuba…not quite a dozen…
“We went to over a dozen weddings”…and technically no divorce parties…Bray and I went to six including the rowdy Eldred wedding in Charlottesville for Liz and T staying with little bro Earl Grossman, the Chapman wedding for Hope and the Earl of Condom Freddy in Nashville with a more well-behaved D/Hanover crowd (aside from Wes), the Charlie Goodman Holch wedding in Annapolis which Barb orchestrated; it proved once again you can have an enormous amount of fun in the back yard, the Chris Johnson wedding in the Utah hills where Sue did a marvelous job planning and we saw an incredible bull elk gallop nearly a mile in a field on the way home, the Chris LaSpada wedding in Jersey with so many from our Hunterdon county days and the Andrew Flowers wedding in Newport, RI where it appropriately nearly snowed at a beautiful fittingly outdoors service…missed the Lovejoy wedding (though we sent James and did lead the crowd in Build Me Up Buttercup with a mic at the Flowers wedding), John was a Bridesmaid at Caroline Curries, and an usher at a Goucher friend’s, Betsy at three college and SPS friends’, James went to a Lovejoy wedding solo, was an usher at, well he attended a couple of Charlotte weddings……see over a dozen…what tremendous fun all of them were!
“I touched the Stanley Cup” as did James and Pop….thank you Ben, Avery, Cari and Carl Lovejoy!
“John-o bought a house”…In fact he signed a contract to purchase one and secured financing, but alas the seller killed the deal…but the good news is he is in the market to buy a house…and hopefully that day is coming soon.
“Billy gave me a budget and I stayed on it”…this is akin to staying on the road going 120mph, yes technically it was stayed on but how many years of budget were consumed to complete the 12 months is another topic!!!!!
“I could have made up any budget variance with Mah Jong winnings”…maybe for one account in one month…Bray Bray had a power year of Mah Jong playing well over 120 days, though it came in bunches with torrential time in April/May and September/October/November in Florida complemented by weekly games in Park City and Hanover. She has a great group of reliable friends she plays with in Florida including Buffalo boozehag Karen Haley, and reconnects with old friends like the Crandalls of Chatham on Sanibel. As for the winnings, while the amount might have offset one account variance in one month (well maybe two months), all winnings went to Selamta, a worthier solution.
“Billy’s retired”…just like Brett Farve’s retirement, only which one? …I have indeed not been working since January, though I have had some fun helping a couple of entrepreneurs on some projects that haven’t totally panned out and have enjoyed catching up with some former CEOs about certain opportunities they are either jumping into or looking at…we’ll see how long I stay “retired” but I certainly won’t be working again until the snow melts; and hopefully if my “retirement” ends, it’s more like George Foreman’s (came out of retirement to win Heavyweight Championship before selling grills) than Brett Farve’s .
And now statements made by the condescending preppie braggart with the madras pants and jackets and endless Facebook posts:
“I golfed or skied every other day this year”…hmmm depends on how you measure this…114 snow ski days, 48 golf days, 31 days water skiing = 193 days…pulled a fast one piling on <two hours of water skiing to exceed 183 days, though if anyone saw your heaving chest after those 90 second water skiing runs they would laughingly agree that’s worth a day.
“Our dogs effectively climbed Mt. McKinley” first of all get with the program preppie…it’s now called Denali, and then chug…4 times up Mt. Kearsarge and 3 up Mt. Cardigan = 7k vertical…so Mt. Mitchell they climbed maybe but nothing west of the Mississippi.
“I finished 5th in the country for NASTAR ski racing, all age groups” …sure for number of different days raced you lush…get a job!
“I skied with over 100 friends this year”…were they still your friends after you took them down Chute 4? Yes indeed we did have a great year of skiing fun, most notably the Griffiths, Reeves, Klinges, Flowers, Vieths, Volnauki, Grossman, old boss Barry Marshall, several other Dartmouth folks, Debbie Breed, and Hanover and Exeter friends in addition to some great folks we have met in Park City…and yes, everyone who went down any of the chutes was hootin’ and hollerin’ at the end…and thanks to the Sweatts and Cathy Engel who visited PC and did not ski, but I think would love to come back.
We broke the record for fundraising for a 37 year out class and led every Dartmouth class in the number of givers…yawn, for the 17th time in 18 years, and that’s your job? Of course, would you want to be the one serving as Head Agent when that streak ends? So yes, it’s an assignment that’s not just a fun resume builder but I do enjoy working with a bunch of great folks including Laurie Laidlaw Deacon, Stanno Weil, Dave Philhower, Jim Feuille and my old Information Booth compatriot Peggy Epstein Tanner.
“I led the Class of 79 as we stormed to the front of the Homecoming Parade” You’re not very good at asking permission, are you? This true story is actually funnier than it sounds…thanks to Martha Beattie for keeping us out of jail. Sorry that we jumped ahead of you President Phil…Thanks to Juan Currier and Buddy Teevens for letting the MVP tackling machine join us.
“Our oldest car has the least mileage on it”…is that because you are too cheap to replace it or too cheap to put in the jet fuel required to drive it around? What is it with you baby boomers and these classic mid-life crisis cars you bought?
“We bought our 5th house” …sure, pathway to the Presidency, real estate, that’s one way to get a job…and you want to teach people how to manage their money? Do as I say, not as I do huh?…our Rope Ferry Road home remains on the market, awaiting the right buyer. Bray did seize the opportunity to see if we couldn’t work our way into a new cable television show à la Chip and JoJo’s Fixer Upper by buying a little (sic) rental property in Elkins, NH about 150 yards from the non-winterized family lake house. Stay tuned for time and channel information.
“John Mitchell is a full time high school art teacher”…this is getting boring, True…John stayed true to his heart and waited and got a wonderful job in Hartford, Vermont as an Art teacher. He is also Snowboard Coaching and leading a 4th/5th grade flag football!
“James Mitchell broke 80 in golf” and yes on a real course. He is getting good practice with some new friends in Charlotte NC. We got to see my boarding school crime partner Steve Slattery (who never wore madras) when we stopped by on the way to the Eldred wedding in April. James continues to do well starting a consulting business for Robert Half in Charlotte.
“Eli Mitchell bikes to work” at CVS in Woonsocket, Rhode Island from her Providence townhome. She also plays soccer and kickball, helps kids learn how to drive as a Big Sister and continues to do very well at CVS where she works in pharmacy analytics. Oh, and did I mention that she is Head Agent for her Dartmouth class in her spare time when she’s not going to school – and got recognized for outstanding performance this year?!?!?!
“We’ve got a bunch of great friends that we send a Holiday Letter to” …Truest statement yet!!
Happy Holidays
Mitchell Family Holiday Card 